5 Things No Longer Protecting Me
The habits that shaped and protected me when surviving are not the habits I am supposed to take as I begin thriving. Lets unpack together...
1. Apologizing for taking up space
As a child, being polite was an expectation and often a praise received. But over the years my natural kindness turned into meekness. I felt like a bother to others and used the phrase “I’m sorry” as a shield. To protect against tense emotions from adult figures, to protect against potential conflict, and to protect against unwanted attention. My sense of low self worth made me minimize my presence, somehow believing I was the problem.
What I’m doing now: I remind myself daily, “I deserve to be here.”
2. Negative thinking
I like to think of my inner thoughts like a radio—constantly changing frequencies with my varying moods and emotions. But over time in my life, my default radio station became “Negative Radio”. Never heard of them? You might already be a long time listener if you continuously replay rude comments, past mistakes and unsolicited opinions of others from over the years. This noise shaped my outlook, convincing me that any misstep was proof of inadequacy.
What I’m doing now: I write affirmations using my own affirmation guide to speak positivity over my life.
3. Overanalyzing…everything
I used to overthink every situation as if I could control the outcome. From replaying past conversations dissecting my responses, or pre-planning what I would say in conversations that never even happened. It felt like mental gymnastics, all in the name of control—if I thought through every possibility, I believed I could somehow avoid failure or heartbreak. Spoiler: I couldn’t. Overanalyzing didn’t give me control, it robbed me of peace.
What I’m doing now: I’m learning to release control and trust in God’s plan.
4. Saying “I’m good” when I’m not
When asked “How are you?” I often answered automatically with “I’m good” or “I’m fine”. I reached a point where after years of this, I would auto respond with that answer even if I was anything but “good”. I wanted to always appear as if I had it all together to avoid the truth. Pretending I was okay didn’t make the hard feelings disappear—it just buried them deeper.
What I’m doing now: I practice radical transparency and share my real emotions with loved ones.
5. Getting quiet when I need to speak up
For years, I thought staying quiet kept me safe. But the truth is, I’m not quiet—I never was. I stayed silent as a defense mechanism, overthinking conversations that hadn’t even happened and convincing myself no one cared what I had to say. I took on a role that didn’t align with who I truly am. I didn’t realize that my voice is a gift, and I need to use it.
What I’m doing now: I share my story and inspire others with my authenticity.
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I am excited to prioritize my blog more and share my inner thoughts in word form with you all. If you enjoyed and want to stay connect visit my website to connect with my other social platforms and learn more about Kailatheangel!